Pauline Kael
It was year 1986, one Sunday morning and the weather was hot because summer season was about to start. I was busy making tamarind candies while my mother was preparing the “pastillas de leche”, some of the goodies that we sell on the sidewalk in one of the colleges in Quezon City, Philippines. During weekends, my elder sister and I usually helped our mother preparing the goods and other merchandise to be sold during the week days. But mostly, my mother relied on me when it comes to making candies and going to market to buy the ingredients.
I was so quiet for the succeeding days because I was thinking that in two weeks time, summer vacation will start in most of the colleges and universities. And as a sidewalk vendor, most of our customers are all students from the college. I told to myself that I have to find a job but how? I know nobody will accept me because I was very young; I was only 11 years old. Then Ate Matilda came, my elder sister, while I was thinking deeply and she said, “Nene, have you seen the Ferris Wheel on the plaza? Let’s ask mother if she can give us some money so we can ride tonight”. I replied with a very loud tone of voice,” don’t waste money for useless thing”. And she left me with angry squint.
Knowing that kiddie rides were operational in our plaza, it gave me an idea and somehow it gave me hope. Every summer season, festivities in our village also started. I decided to go to the plaza, as I reached the main gate I saw a very colorful graffiti hanged all over the plaza, lights were very bright and in every corner it’s full of people, mostly kids and their families. On the left side corner, I saw kiddie rides such as Ferris Wheel, Caterpillar, Carousel, Bumped Car and Horror rides and I must say, it was a long queue in most of the rides. How I wish I can ride in one of those but knowing my situation I immediately took that thought out of my mind. As I looked around, I saw some of the booths that sell food, souvenir items and other merchandise. I saw some of my neighbors and they invited me to join them but I politely declined their invitation because I don’t have any peso on my hand. Then I saw one of our neighbors, she owned a food booth stand. I went and spoke to her, I literally begged her if she can hire me as one of her helpers for the whole summer. I explained to her my situation, I told her that I want to continue my studies but my mother cannot afford to send the three of us to school so I have to work and earn to support my studies but I was unlucky because she told me she doesn’t need additional helper at that moment but as soon as she needs she will let me know. After that encounter with our neighbor, I was not discouraged, instead the more I was determined to earn. I was about to go home when I turned my back to a pile of trash near the booth stand, I segregated the plastic bottles, can of sodas, bottles of catsup and some papers. Through my way home, I saw a junk shop but they were about to close, I went inside trying to showed all the stuff on the plastic bags that I am carrying. But the guy said. “Sorry, we are close. Come back tomorrow morning”. I looked down and very sad and before I go out on the junk shop a lady came out and asked the man, “What was that? Is she going to sell those stuff on the plastic bags”? Before I hear the reply of the man, the lady called me and said, “Neng, let me check those items on your plastic bags”. I smiled and happily showed her all the cans of sodas, plastic bottles, bottles of catsup. Then, I heard the lady instructing the man to weigh the papers, can of sodas and count all the bottles. After a while, the lady called me and she gave me a money amounting to ninety pesos .I was so happy that night and while I was walking on my way home, I was crying and I keep thanking GOD for guiding me how to earn money in a very clean and honest way. Then, I decided to pass by to the chapel near our village to utter some prayers and praise HIM.
On the following morning, I woke up early with full of enthusiasm. I did my routine for that morning, I helped my mother sell goods for few hours and prepared for my school, before I walked on my way to school I ask my mother to give me some plastic bags. Mother didn’t ask anything she just gave me three medium size plastic bags. As I was walking on my way to school on that morning, I picked some of the can of sodas and put it on the plastic bag, one plastic bag was pull of can of sodas. When I reached my school, I ask permission from the guard if I can leave the plastic bag and I will collect it later before I go home. The guard smiled and replied, “sure no problem, but what are you going to do with this trash”? I replied happily, ”Manong, don’t forget that there is a money on the trash”. The guard twitched his shoulder.
After my last subject on that day, I went out running and the moment I saw the guard I called him, “ Manong…Manong…I’m done with my class, I have to go home now, I need my plastic bag”. He replied while pointing on the direction of the plastic bag, “ I put it on the corner near the small chair, you get it from there and be home safe”. I took the plastic bag and went out of the school gate hastily. While I was walking on my way home, I checked some of the trash bin which was installed on the streets and took some of the plastic bottles and can of sodas and put it on the other plastic bags. It was almost 1:00 o’clock in the afternoon when I reached home my three plastic bags were all pull of plastic bottles and can of sodas. My elder sister, Ate Matilda was there and she saw me carrying the three plastic bags, then she ask me, “ Why did you bring those trash”, pointing at the plastic bags, “I will tell mother about it”. I just looked at her and replied, “ I will not keep these trash, I will go to the junk shop and sell it”, then instead of changing my school uniforms which I usually do, I just put my bag on a wooden chair and I went straight ahead to the junk shop. The moment I saw the gate of the junk shop and saw the man from last night, I called him with full voice and I was very happy, “ Kuyaaaaaa, I brought many plastic bottles and can of sodas today”. He was surprised and laughed at me and he replied, “ Wow!! That’s big amount of money, where did you get those things”? But before I replied he figured out by looking at me wearing my school uniform that I collected it from the streets on my way home after my class, “ Aha, you took it from the trash bin on the streets while you were walking towards your home”? I replied with wide eyes open, “ Yes, you are right”! And he was very shocked and he told me, “You don’t feel embarrass while doing that”? I looked at him with raised eyebrows, “ Why, should I feel embarrass? I didn’t steal those things, people throw it so might as well I benefit from those trash. And I continued you better count those plastic bottles and weigh those can of sodas so I can go home and change my uniform. I have to wash this uniform because I have to wear it again tomorrow”. Then he replied, “ You have a point but you know other kids will not do that especially while they are wearing their uniforms. But I admire you for that”. And I said, “Well, maybe the rich kids won’t do it but not a poor kid like me”. I just twitched my shoulder and look at him. Then he started to count the plastic bottles and weigh the can of sodas but before weighing the can of sodas, he squashes all of it. Then he count and compute the total amount of money to be given to me. I was so excited when he came to me and he was handling the money and I opened my hand. He put the ten peso bill and started counting, “ 10…20…30…40…50......110”, after he put the last piece of ten peso bill I hold the money tight with my two hands and put it on my chest and looked up with gladness and said, “ Thank you LORD for this, it is really a big help. Thank you, Kuya. I got to go”. He replied while scoffing, “ Okay, see you next time. I am happy that you brought a lot of stuff to sell. Take care”! After receiving money from him, I went home running and thinking that I have to do my assignments. When I reached home I count all the money that I have. I have a total of two hundred and ten pesos from the money I got last night plus the money I got today. I keep the money under my pillow and change my uniform. After putting my short and shirt, I wash my blouse and hang it outside to dry it. I have only one set of school uniform, a color light blue blouse and a navy blue skirt. Since I always wash my blouse every day, the color faded and it is an old uniform which I got from my elder sister. With my skirt, I don’t wash it every day; I just hang it nicely every time I arrived from my school. I wash it once a week, only during weekends. After washing my blouse, I started doing my assignments. Past half three in the afternoon, I finished my homework. Then I decided to go out with few plastic bags on my hand but not to play with my neighbors, I headed to the river which is few kilometers away from our home. When I reached the river, I started to pick some stuff that I can sell. When I was reaching one plastic container, my foot slipped. I retract back I don’t want to die at that young age. I decided to go home and not to tell this incident to anyone. I don’t want to add worries to my mother.
Few weeks after, our neighbor passed by on our home and asked me if I can start working as her helper. I was jumping for joy when she told me that. For I know, I can save more money not only for my studies but to help mother in my own little way in buying some food for our table.
During the whole summer, I worked as a helper in our neighbor’s food stand and from time to time I picked bottles of catsup, soy sauce, vinegars, cans of sodas, old newspapers, plastic bottles and other stuff that can be sold to the junk shop.
Though I am struggling I managed to save money for my school supplies for the next school year. Another school year is about to finish and it was year 1987, the hot temperature, humid environment and dusty surroundings, were all signs that summer is about to start again. It was one ordinary afternoon, I finished my class and I went out running outside the classroom. When I reached the gate of our school, it was a long queue of students. They were all lining up and the security guard is checking the parents or guardians of each student before he allowed them to go out. It is a daily scenario in our school every after our class. And when he looked at me, I smiled and salute him and said, “ Bye, Manong see you tomorrow!” He smiled at me and replied, “Be careful, make sure you will be on the sidewalks and avoid jeepneys and cars. And make sure to be there on the stage tomorrow.” The guard knows that I don’t have any guardian to pick me unlike those students. As my reply, I just winked at him and went out running because I have to reach our small “tindahan” within 30-45 minutes before rush hours starts. While walking I am thinking whether to tell my mother that tomorrow is our recognition day. I have with me the invitation which is to be given to the parents of those students with honors and special awards for the school year. Since I started my elementary level, every end of school year I had been one among the cream of the crop. Every end of school year, during our recognition day, I always go up on the stage to receive a medal, for being one of the best students and some special awards. Most of my classmates, they will go up on the stage with their parents happily receiving the medals and they will put the medals on their kid’s neck. Since grade one I don’t remember that my mother attended at least one of my recognition days. Whenever they call my name I would go up alone on the stage and my class adviser will look at me with wide eyes open. I will just give her a shy smile and look down trying to control my tears. Then she will put the medal on my neck, and then I will go back to my sit quietly. I was seven years old at that time and I clearly remember the day when I received the very first invitation for my mother because I was an honor student. When I went home and I was very excited to show to my mother that my name was listed as one of the honor students of our class. I opened my old school bag and gave the invitation to her and said, “ Mother, tomorrow is our recognition day. And my name is listed as one of the honor students. I got a medal. My teacher said that parents are required to be there tomorrow”. I was in my loud voice when I mentioned it to her. She looked at the invitation and I can see the happiness in her eyes. After a few seconds, she returned the invitation to me and she explained, “ I love to come and it’s an honor to put the medal on your neck. But you know our situation, If I will not go and sell food tomorrow, where will I get the food for our table? I know you won’t feel bad If I can’t come tomorrow to put your medal on your neck. I know you understand our situation.” After hearing her explanation, I looked at her with blank emotions and twitched my shoulders and said, “I understand, mother. This is not important.” Then I turned my back controlling my emotions. I went outside and stayed for few hours. Remembering that incident I decided not to tell mother about my recognition. I told myself better not to give her worries or not to be a burden to her. I know that she has many responsibilities and many things in her mind. I kept the invitation and start to do my task.
I graduated my elementary level with flying colors. I was one of the cream of the crop of our batch 1988. At the very young age, I was struggling with my education due to our status in life. And I don’t blame my mother for that. I understand that being a single parent of six siblings is very difficult. But I am really thankful to GOD that I have experienced not to have any luxurious materials things at that age but I have learned to value whatever I have. I have learned not to complain about life but instead I learned to appreciate what life is all about. And I am determined to finish my study and to make something different for my life.
Lessons Learned:
If you are determined enough to get something done, you will always find a way to do it. Determination is the key why a person wants to do it. Without determination there is a possibility that a person will give up easily in getting what she or he wants. Poverty is not an excuse, if you want something make sure you work hard to achieve what you want.
**Note**
This Chapter 1 is the accurate memoir of my life story, however, I changed the character names to protect the identities
Chapter 2: High School Life soon to be published